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Event: The Secret Service searches NREL offices

By EcoPress Staff

The United States Secret Service patiently searched NREL offices for explosives, firearms, chemical weapons, and any other dangerous items, but instead found de-ionized H2O, bags upon bags of soil, and one graduate student asleep under her desk in a cubicle.  They even found a rejected NSF proposal at the front door, apparently left by a hopeful research scientist taking a chance that an agent would take it to the President, who would then sign an executive order for its immediate funding.  The Secret Service thus found NRELians and their offices to be suspicious, but not dangerous enough to prevent President Obama’s visit to CSU.   

We at EcoPress agree with the Secret Service that NRELians are suspicious; such as Jared Heath (in shades), program manager of Loch Vale Long Term Ecological Research and Montioring Program, when he has his “field face” on, and Laurie Richards, research coordinator, with her bag bulging of unknown objects. 

But we disagree with the Secret Service and vehemently assert that NRELians are dangerous.  Our ideas are sharp, and our papers impactful.  And what we think are clever experiments often blow up in our faces.  President Obama evidently agrees with us, by pointing to our offices behind him in an implicit nod.  Granted there is a chance that the President is pointing to his right eye, but we at EcoPress know better.(All photos taken by Colin Bell, a postdoctoral associate at the Wallenstein Lab of NREL.)